My dear friend,
They say the pen is mightier than the sword. It is Wednesday afternoon and I am sitting watching the planes arrive and depart to Heathrow Airport. The sun is shining, a rare thing in England an unprecedented day in spring. You are on my mind and have been for a while. I keep staring out wondering what I can say to you during this difficult time.
I can tell you, it is going to be okay, but I don’t really think so because what you are going through will profoundly change your life. You are hurting and I have no words to comfort you but to hug you from a distance hoping that I let your tears flow on my shoulder. I will not bother you with words that mean nothing for comfort.
I know you. I see you crying in the shower, hiding from the pain you are going through. You may have lost a relationship, you may have received a diagnosis or worse you are watching your loved one slowly fading away. What are we but a speck of dust in this vast universe?
I have not traveled your journey so I cannot tell you what to expect. We all grieve because there is a grievance. The grievance, against the Eternal law that we expect should hold love together forever. A grievance for the pain and suffering of illness that has no cure. Unfortunately nobody prepares us for these difficult times. We talk in hushed whispers hoping that things will change. We turn to God hoping He will have mercy on us and take the pain away. The world is a hard place. The end of a relationship or a diagnosis or loss of a loved one is somewhat like death a condition that you can never change. Grief is love that has nowhere to go.
I see you my friend, crying into your pillow as the depths of grief crush your very soul and you cannot breathe. In the morning, you wake up wipe your tears and get along with business as usual. The only problem is that you have this luggage on your back and it relentlessly gets heavier and heavier. “Who do I turn to? Everyone has problems” you quietly reason. We your friends do not know what to do or say
I know you because in my own little world I understand the depths of pain. I can only ask you let go. Let go and let the ugliness of grief overtake you. We have been taught to hide our emotions and perhaps my journey has taught me to let go. Letting to means I have no control over the outcome but I must learn a new way to deal with the void that drills my heart. Its okay not to be okay, in fact get out of control, perhaps in losing control, you will find control.
I love you my friend if I could take it, I would take it for you. But soon it will be my turn, I will turn you to help me in the mist. We comfort others because we are comforted. Be still my friend and let go. Let it go and do not be afraid to say you are afraid. You are afraid of being alone, you are afraid of the unknown.
You are never alone, for He who created the Heavens and the earth is with you. In a way we cannot understand he holds you as you journey into the mist.
Remember I am here with you in my little corner, praying to God to give you strength. We will see beyond the mist but it will take a while.